Classic Tales Retold

It all went down a few weeks ago. My boss casually dropped this bomb in a meeting: “We want to talk about Ghosts of Girlfriends Past on the blog.” I got a hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach, and began frantically searching for a way out of the conference room, wondering if it was possible to scale down the side of our building from the 26th floor, Bear-Grylls-style. I think I have the skills, but I lacked the proper footwear at the time.

It’s not that it looks like a horrible movie or anything, it’s just that an in-depth review of a romantic comedy “chick flick” starring Matthew McConaughey is not exactly up my alley. I’m too snarky, too jaded, maybe a smidgen too misanthropic. Luckily, she could see the fight or flight decision-making being made, so she quickly finished, “as part of a post on classic stories retold.”

Ohhhhh, okay. That I can handle. I mean, Ghost of Girlfriends Past is a retelling of A Christmas Carol, the classic Dickens story that we all know was best adapted by The Muppets. I was, after all, an English major. And I enjoy clever updates on classics as much as the next red-blooded American, my favorite being O Brother Where Art Thou.

So our crack team of movie experts got on the case, and put together this list of Hollywood retellings (I’ve added the original work in parentheses):

Bartleby (Bartleby the Scrivener)
Clueless (Emma)
Cruel Intentions (Les Liaisons Dangereuses)
Forbidden Planet (The Tempest)
Freeway (Little Red Riding Hood)
Kiss Me Kate (The Taming of the Shrew)
My Fair Lady (Pygmalion)
My Own Private Idaho (Henry IV)
O Brother Where Art Thou (The Odyssey)
Rent (La Bohème)
Roxanne (Cyrano de Bergerac)
Scrooged (A Christmas Carol)
She’s All That (Pygmalion)
A Simple Twist of Fate (Silas Marner)
Strange Brew (Hamlet)
Ten Things I Hate About You (The Taming of the Shrew)
Twist (Oliver Twist)
West Side Story (Romeo and Juliet)