Once again, your weekly recap of some of the summer’s hottest reality shows.
Million Dollar Decorators
This show specifically illustrated what had been bugging the crap out of me, and it’s that the decorators are spoiled brats. I know I’m stating the obvious here, but a small part of me still held out hope that these are professional and smart people. Nope: petulant children who throw fits and disobey their parents.
This week it was proven out specifically by JAM (Jeffrey Alan Marks) and Martyn Lawrence Bullard. JAM decided he couldn’t live with the floors in his client’s restaurant and had them ripped out by what appears to be a bulldozer, as there were giant troughs in the cement sub floor. If Ross had issues with the table lap/floor lamp quandary, this floor has pushed him over the edge. It would also seem that a new floor is not within the budget or time frame for the project but these minor annoyances won’t stop JAM in his quest for antique hardwood floors from Europe. Luckily, Ross finds some floors that were ordered for a client who can’t use them so they’re available now and all they have to do is now talk the restaurant owner into spending $50,000 dollars on the floor. The guy seems appropriately angry and irritated but is now blindsided by the decorators and left with little choice but to agree.
MLB went on a shopping trip with One King’s Lane, yeah the group from last week that went shopping with Nathan Turner — apparently they’re like the Slade Smiley of Million Dollar Decorators and determined to be included in the cast of characters whether they’re on the invite or not. Anyway, MLD took the ladies to England to find some goodies for their sale and had serious issues with the idea of a budget, and finding reasonably priced goods that still had some margin but were affordable was an entirely foreign concept. Watching the entire thing was painful and tortuous.
Then I found out what tortuous really was. Kathryn Ireland flirting mercilessly with an old boyfriend who looked mortified while they shopped for his English country house followed by Mary McDonald walking through a tract house with a potential client who had decorated in the style of Taco Bell. I’m not sure which shocked me more, JAM demolishing the floors or that Mary McDonald knows about Taco Bell.
Oh yeah, Nathan Turner was spotted briefly while shopping.
The Real Housewives of New York
Jill visited Ally and we were enlightened as to her choice of bagel. Whole wheat scooped out with cream cheese and a side of candy. It was interesting to see that she took the train, along with Ginger, and that Ally seemed happy to see her even if she was slightly crazed on the control issues for what Ally should wear. But, given the way some of the shopping went, for this episode maybe it wasn’t so crazy.
This leads us into the truly crazy; Sonja and Ramona shopping at Patricia Fields for lingerie for a burlesque party. But to keep it appropriate, they took Avery as a chaperone. Admittedly, she shows much better judgment than most of these women. For example, the best time for LuAnn to teach Victoria to drive is apparently in a half empty icy parking lot in the Hamptons. I have no idea what’s wrong with these people.
After some more stuff happened that no one cares about, or remembers, like LuAnn in the study with Jill giving some unwanted feedback and Ramona as Avery’s role model (sweet and scary), Sonja had a party with fancy people including royalty and the housewives. This included a fairly pointed “song” and a strip tease.
Next week who the hell knows what Sonja will take off.
Keeping Up with the Kardashians
Kris became ordained, I’m assuming via the internet but the specifics were sketchy. Hilariously enough, it was Kris Humphries (Kim’s fiancé) who mentioned actual requirements like theological studies for something like that. Only an outsider would ever dare to bring reality into this. Back to Kris, she’s becoming ordained to marry her friend “Pastor Brad” who looks exactly like you would think someone who goes by “Pastor Brad” would like.
All of this gives Kris the perfect excuse to butt into Kourtney’s business again and browbeat her into marrying Scott. This woman was like a dog with a bone and wasn’t letting it go. Kourtney finally lost her cool and Scott was the calming influence who got her away from the situation, which is truly the sign of the impending rapture.
More wedding stuff, a few seconds of Bruce, Lamar and Rob then… scene.