When J.J. Abrams attaches himself to a project, you know you’re going to get a long, winding story filled with great promise that eventually ends in a messy crash filled with unresolved story lines and miles of regret. Just like life. Does Chewbacca really even exist? Maybe he’s nothing more than the deluded mind fracture of Solo after he really “DIDN’T” kill Greedo (No, sorry, screw that, people. Han. Shot. First.). Perhaps the Leah-Solo-Skywalker love triangle isn’t resolved at all. Maybe the Emperor survived the shaft plunge. Maybe, all of this is simply a really bad Yoda premonition. Maybe they all actually died when the Empire blew up Alderaan and everything after that takes place in purgatory (Oh yeah, um, that whole Mr. Ecko thing? Still kind of annoyed about that one).
It’s long been said: There are cat people and then there are dog people. There are Star Wars people and there are Star Trek people. But wait! Abrams is now BOTH. He’s like that fabled half-dog, half-cat creature that lives in Wisconsin and eats farm chickens in the dead of night. He bridges two universes, and now maybe we’ll see the epic crossover we’ve all been waiting for. Luke vs. Spock. Solo vs. Kirk. Ewoks vs. Tribbles. There’s no telling where the new Trek timeline can take us… why not to a long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away?
3) More obvious plot devices.
Sometimes, all you need to do is add a monster. Maybe it’s made of smoke. Maybe it’s from another planet. Maybe it’s a polar bear. Maybe it’s an alien polar smoke bear. But all of it means the same thing: Man must conquer his own pettiness. Because greed and hate are made of smoke. And sounds like a freight train. Now that the Empire’s been toppled, maybe Solo and Luke need an intergalactic smoke monster to face—a Force-powered organism that’s consuming everything within its path… ugh. I can’t even finish this sentence.
4) Two words: Regarding Solo.
5) And Hurley.
Personally, I can’t think of a better Jedi knight than Hurley. Can you imagine the Hurley/Yoda dialogue?
HURLEY: Uh… dude? There’s a really big lizard thing over there and it’s really scary.
YODA: Conquer fear, you must. Face it, you will.
HURLEY: What, dude?
YODA: Strong is the force in you. Feel it, you must.
HURLEY: Seriously dude, I don’t understand a word you’re saying.
YODA: Dude, I am not. Jedi, am I.
HURLEY: Dude, are you asking me? Was that a question? Why do you keep saying things all backward like that? And why are you still hanging on my back, dude? You’re getting really heavy. Can we just hang out here until the lizard thing is gone…”